Midnight Strangers
by andquitefrankly
Summary: College AU - Loki wakes up one morning to discover a stranger sleeping on his couch. Tony wakes up to realize he's not in Rhodey's apartment.
1. Chapter 1

The tall, lithe man standing over him with a scowl should have been Tony's first clue that he wasn't in fact in Rhodey's apartment, but a stranger's instead. It really should have blaringly obvious.

But in his defense, he had a killer hangover.

And so Tony didn't really make the correlation, assuming that maybe Rhodey got a new roommate. Or got a babe of a boyfriend. Or maybe his best friend had been lying to him his entire life and wasn't actually black.

No matter the reason, Tony wasn't going to worry about it, and promptly fell back asleep.

* * *

Loki did not shriek. There were no high pitched squeals of terror. He may have stumbled backwards and ran his toe into a chair, but he did not scream.

And if he did – which he didn't – it was only a natural reaction considering there was a STRANGER SLEEPING ON HIS COUCH.

Loki closed his eyes and opened them again. Nope, still there. He looked around the room, only to find his window jimmied open and his favorite lamp laying on the ground.

That was it. He was no longer taking sleeping pills. Insomnia was clearly better than waking up to strangers in his apartment.

Finally deciding to do something about the **man on his fucking couch**, Loki nudged the man's leg with his foot, hoping to illicit a response. Aside from a snuffle: nothing. He then grabbed the man's shoulder and shook it, but still the stranger slept on.

How did these things happen to him?

Giving up on all measures of politeness (and honestly, there was a stranger, the man should be grateful Loki even tried to be polite) Loki kicked the couch and shouted, "Wake up!"

That startle the man awake, who opened his eyes to blink confusedly up at Loki. He tilted his head, as if trying to figure out who Loki was, before making a displeased face and falling back onto the couch, fast asleep.

The nerve!

* * *

"Yeah?" Thor mumbled into his phone, hair in knots and face pressed up against his pillow.

"There's a man on my couch."

Thor blinked, checking the caller ID on his phone to make sure this was actually Loki. It was. Huh. "There's a man on your couch?"

"Yes!" Loki squeaked. "I woke up and there was a man, in only boxers, sleeping on my couch."

"Did you want him to take off the boxers?"

"I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE!" Loki yelled over the line, effectively waking up Thor. With a grunt, Thor sat up, resting his arms on his knees and resisting the urge to yawn. It was way too early for phone calls. Though this was turning out to be rather interesting.

"I need you to come here and eviscerate him," Loki continued, no doubt pacing the floor, chewing on a thumbnail. "No, the other word. The one that sounds like eviscerate."

"Eradicate?" Thor asked.

"No."

"Extradite?"

Loki sighed. "Yes, Thor. I need you to extradite him," came his sarcastic tone. "Just get him out of here."

Thor yawned, stumbling out of bed. "I'll be there in a bit."

* * *

Loki hung up the phone and peered past the doorway to look at the sleeping man. Now that the cavalry was on the way, he felt much better about all of this.

He grabbed a wooden spoon and his biggest pot and stepped into the living room. Taking a deep breath, and preparing himself for the ruckus, Loki began hitting the pot as loud as he could, stumbling backwards as the man bolted up, wearing the expression of a frightened lamb.

The man rolled over and fell face first onto the floor, knocking his elbow onto the coffee table. Loki glared down at the man, and now that he was awake, Loki could tell he couldn't be any older than himself.

"What the hell, Rhodey," he grumbled, sitting up, rubbing at his elbow indignantly.

Loki cleared his throat. The man looked up and just stared at him, not uttering a single word.

* * *

Tony didn't know how to respond to the angry man who was clearly not Rhodey. He suddenly felt very self conscious, realizing that he had thrown his clothes off in haste to crash on the couch.

He was practically naked in a stranger's home. No big deal. He could handle this. He was Tony Stark. He was practically born to handle situations like this.

"Hi," Tony finally said, and going by the pinch between the other man's brows, that was not an acceptable greeting. "How are you?"

"Who the hell are you?" the man demanded, pointing his wooden spoon in Tony's face.

Tony grinned, pointing at himself like the man was an idiot not to know. "Tony Stark," he answered. "Who the fuck are you?"

"This is my apartment," the man said, ignoring Tony's question. "And I demand you leave this instant, or I will personally make sure you leave the way you came." He pointedly looked at the window and Tony's grin faltered.

Why were the babes always so uptight?

"Where am I?"

"I just told – "

Tony shook his head. "What apartment number?" His pants hit him in the head in reply. Great. Just great. "Look, just cause you're hot doesn't mean you get to boss me around," Tony told him. "You got coffee?"

Suddenly there was a wooden pressing intently into his chest. "You broke in, you do not get coffee," the man said. "Put on your clothes."

Gosh, so bossy. Tony stumbled into his jeans, a headache blaring just behind his eyelids. This was not cool. You'd think the guy would be just a bit sympathetic to his situation. Sure, he broke in, but Tony had no fucking clue where he was.

He was almost positive this had been Rhodey's place, but in the light of day, Tony realized that the couch was too nice, the TV too small, and a parakeet singing in its cage just by the window he had managed to squeeze through the night before.

The front door opened and a booming voice greeted, "Loki!"

Tony looked up from behind the couch where he was searching for his shirt, only to see Thor.

Loki.

Shit. That meant the guy with the attitude problem was Thor's little brother. Oh no.

"Tony?" Thor asked, noticing him on all fours. "Did Loki call you to help him as well?"

Loki – there was no way those two guys were related – popped his head back into the living room with a frown. "Get rid of him, Thor," he ordered, pointing at Tony who was just as confused as Thor was, though for different reasons entirely.

Thor began to guffaw in the living room, much to the chagrin of his brother. "Tony broke into your apartment?" He began to laugh louder, slapping his hand against his thigh. "How did you accomplish this?" he asked Tony once he got himself under control.

Before he could answer, Loki grabbed Thor's ear and pulled, causing Thor to yelp in pain. "Stop being an idiot and get rid of him."

"But Tony is harmless," Thor insisted, face contorted in agony. "Brother, please."

Loki let go, only to put hands on hips and glare at Thor and Tony, who had finally managed to dress himself. "Get out."

* * *

"Where the hell were you?" Rhodey asked, clothes mussed, a hand massaging the crick in his neck from waiting up for Tony.

Tony pushed past him. "I don't want to talk about it," he grumbled, just as the door next door opened and a pair of sneakers flew and hit Tony in the head.

Rhodey's laughter was the last thing Loki heard as he shut his door, only to be greeting by Thor's smiling face.

"I can give you his number," Thor told him.

"Shut up," Loki snapped. "Or I'll throw you out as well."

* * *

**Author's Note: **So I saw this post on tumblr:

_i really want an "i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i did wonder when my friend got two cats but i didn't question it) so now i'm hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi howya doin" au_

So I wrote a thing. And because I'm nearly done with school and thesis is officially written (though it's terrible), I decided to actually do this. Idk if I should continue it. So if you really want it to be continued, then let me know because I feel like it has potential. But apparently now that I'm leaving college I need to write college aus. MY LIFE MAKES NO SENSE.


	2. Chapter 2

After that day Loki saw him everywhere.

It took a break in for Loki to realize that his and Stark's lives were so vividly intertwined, and it irked the man to no end. Realizing that yes, his brother was friends with the intruder, was a little upsetting, but hey, it happens.

To suddenly realize that the man was in his American Civil War class, as well as his blow off sociology class, frequented the same café as him every morning, and came traipsing up his hallway nearly every day to see his friend, was disheartening to say the least.

It didn't help that Thor seemed to be convinced that he and Stark would make a fantastic couple. Loki would rather gouge out his eyes than enter a relationship with Tony Stark. The pompous jackass was, apparently, his match made in heaven.

Yeah right. How could Thor think, for just a second, that he and Tony Stark would be perfect together. Tony was an irresponsible frat boy with too much money and time on his hands. Loki would rather claw out his eyes then even speak to Tony ever again.

* * *

"No," Loki groaned as he saw his window being opened by none other than Tony Stark. "Go away," Loki told him, face planting into his textbook. "I am too busy to deal with your nonsense."

There was clamor and a thud before Tony popped his head over the couch. "Rhodey!" His smile quickly turned upside down. "You're… not Rhodey."

Loki threw his pen at Tony who didn't even blink as it bounced off his shoulder and onto the floor. "No, I'm not. You've already made this mistake," Loki grumbled.

"Loki!" Tony cried out instead, hopping onto the couch beside the boy. He took one look at the thick art history text book and wrinkled his nose. "What is that?"

"I'm studying," Loki told him. "So go away."

Tony fingered Loki's notes. He was so… uptight. That was the word. The guy needed to learn how to relax. Thor was a much more relaxed guy. How were they even related? They didn't look anything alike, not that Tony thought about it.

"I'm adopted," Loki replied him. Okay, so he wasn't saying that in his head. "No. It seems your brain to mouth filter deteriorates further when intoxicated."

"I'm not intoxicated," Tony said.

He just had a few beers. No big deal. He lay his head back onto the couch and closed his eyes. Wow, Loki's couch was comfy.

"I don't want you here, you do know that, right?" Loki told him, digging through his bag for another pen. He really shouldn't have thrown the one he was using at Stark. But he couldn't do anything about that now.

He had an exam on German Expressionism Tuesday and he really didn't need the distraction. Loki completely failed the last test, and by failed, he got a 'B' which was basically the same thing. He had to be nothing less than perfect.

"Shh," Tony answered, putting a finger to his lips. "I'm asleep."

Loki raises an eyebrow. "You are not," he says indignantly, only to find Tony's finger on his mouth.

"I'm sleeping."

Loki swatted the hand away, huffing in annoyance. The test was tomorrow morning and if Tony wanted to pass out on his couch and wake up with a killer hangover come Monday, then Loki wasn't going to try to argue. He needed that A. He needed it more than life itself.

* * *

Tony was awoken by the Psycho theme.

Ignoring the pounding in his head, he clumsily shot out his arm from under his blanket and, with one eye open, grabbed the blaring phone from off the coffee table. "What?" he groaned. It was way too early for this.

"Are you still asleep?" came the shrill voice. "Class is in fifteen, you do realize that right? I even ordered you a good luck frappuccino."

"I don't like frappuccinnos," Tony muttered, confused. Who the hell was calling him?

Suddenly Tony's pillow moved and ripped the phone out of his hand. "Whadya want?"

"OH MY GOD LOKI DID YOU GET SOME LAST NIGHT?"

Tony sat up, nausea and a headache making itself known. Oh joy. He tried standing but found himself wrapped up in a blanket. He was covered in a blanket. Loki was his pillow.

Shit. He broke into Loki's apartment again. Tony plopped back onto the couch. The guy was going to kill him.

"What do you mean I'm late!" Loki yelped, stumbling off the couch, textbook falling to the floor, dislodging the blanket off of Tony's lap. "Shit. Shit shitshitshitshitshit."

In under two minutes Loki was cleaned and dressed, grabbing his notebook and satchel, dashing out the door without even a side glance at Tony.

* * *

Lorelei moved her bag as Loki quickly walked down Hall B's stairs. He plopped down beside her, just as their professor started handing out their test. She scooted the frap towards him and Loki smiled adoringly at her.

Once class ended, Loki found himself being forcibly dragged out of the lecture hall and into the women's bathroom.

"I'm not supposed to be in here," Loki tried telling her, but Lorelei just rolled her eyes. A girl stepped out of a stall and squeaked upon seeing Loki.

Lorelei squirted hand sanitizer on her hands and shoved her out of the bathroom, quick as can be. She locked the bathroom door and took a menacing step towards her friend. "I can't believe you got laid last night and you weren't going to tell me."

"What?" Loki blurted. He was pretty positive he'd know whether or not he got some good loving and good loving he did not receive. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Don't play innocent with me," Lorelei told him, sticking up her perfectly manicured finger in his face. "Some babe answered your phone, and don't say that was you because you never sound that hot."

Loki blinked at her in confusion. Babe? What in heaven's name was she spea – "Do you mean Stark?" Loki exclaimed.

"Oh my god!" she shouted, hitting Loki repeatedly in the shoulder. "You slept with Tony Stark!"

"No!" Loki told her, grabbing hold of Lorelei and trying to knock some sense into her. "I did no such thing."

She gave me a disbelieving look. "You can't try to talk yourself out of this. You did the dirty with the hottest guy on campus," she squealed. "I need to tell people. I need – oh my god! Loki," she cut herself off, giving him a serious look. "Who topped?"

* * *

When Loki got back to his apartment, he had a horrible headache and one less friend in his life. He should have just skipped that damn test. The makeup would have been harder, but then he wouldn't have to listen to Lorelei gush and inform EVERYONE he had sex with Tony Stark.

Which would seem highly improbable if the damn man wasn't still sleeping on his couch. Loki checked his phone, noting that it was well past noon.

He hung up his jacket and bag on a hook and toed off his loafers. First things first, he had to get the idiot off of his couch and out of his apartment. Then he could reply to all the damn texts and facebook messages asking whether he boned Stark or not.

This would be less stressful if he actually did. Not that he'd even think about it.

Loki grabbed a pillow and threw it at Tony's head. "Wake up," he told him, unsurprised when Tony didn't even stir. The bastard.

Deciding that something had to be done, he did the most logical thing he could think of. He jumped on him.

Tony woke with a shout, arms flailing as he tried to register just where he was. The smirking Loki lying on top of him was a surprise, but not a bad one. "Hey gorgeous," Tony greeted with a lick of his lips.

"Disgusting," Loki scoffed, wacking him upside the head and getting himself off Tony. "I'm going to make you pay rent if you use up my couch any longer."

Tony sat up, rubbing his head wound. "You're so mean to me."

"Please leave, Stark," Loki told him. "I really don't need the headache."

If anyone had a headache, it was Tony, but he just shrugged, getting off the couch and stretching. "Whatever babe," Tony replied. He rubbed at his eyes as he searched for his sneakers.

"Under the coffee table," Loki said as he made his way to the kitchen. He scrounged around his cabinets for a granola bar, tossing one at Tony who was too busy trying to unlace his sneaker to notice the bar aimed towards his head.

The granola bar bounced off his forehead and landed on the couch. Tony made a displeased face at Loki before noticing the snack. "Awesome," Tony smiled. "You're amazing, you know that."

"Leave my house," Loki ordered.

Shoes on, granola bar half eaten, and jacket located, Tony leaned over the counter separating the living room and kitchen. "Technically it's an apartment," Tony pointed out.

"Leave my apartment," Loki amended.

"Harsh," Tony pouted. He took a quick look around the place. It was nice. Then he spotted the blanket he was under when he woke up. "Did you give me a blanket?"

Loki let out a derisive laugh. "I got cold and you stole it off me," he explained.

No believing a word of it, Tony just nodded. "Well thanks for letting me crash," Tony said, leaning over to place a kiss on Loki's cheek.

Stunned, Loki stood there as he watched Tony leave, almost forgetting everyone thought they were a couple. Almost.

"Shit," Loki said out loud to himself. He was so screwed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This literally took me forever to get out and I'm sorry. Life and writer's block happened. There should be one more chapter after this. yay! :)

Aardvark!


End file.
